Kregel Publications (October 1, 2011) 288 pages
For married women who feel like single parents.
Bookstore shelves are full of parenting resources for moms who are newly divorced or widowed. But where do moms turn if they feel like a single parent--but they’re not? Whether he is away on business, deployed in the military, or obsessing over a computer game, dad may not be available for a variety of reasons. Moms who parent in this situation still need help and don’t necessarily relate to the advice given in divorce recovery or single parenting resources.
Married Mom, Solo Parent is a common-sense, down-to-earth look at the struggles wives and mothers face when their husband is not actively involved in family life. Writing from her own experience as a married single mom, Carla Anne Coroy will help wives and mothers sort through their questions, such as: Can I do this alone? How do I raise kids to honor their father? How do I give my children a healthy perspective of marriage if they never see one in action? With practical suggestions, anecdotes, and biblical teaching, this book will encourage moms to see their position as a high calling, to find healing for their worries and frustrations, and to tap into God’s strength for help in facing the daily challenge of being a married mom, solo parent.
I really thought I needed this book. After reading it, I KNOW I needed it! I can honestly say this has been a life changing read for me. I haven't automatically became a better wife. It takes lots of time and prayer when change is involved, especially for good! My heart and mind have been opened to so much, though.
I'm not a full time married, solo parent. I am part time, though. I am very blessed to have my husband, and he is a good one, but our situation is what it is. For me, it comes with anger and resentment, like probably every other mother out there. While our schedule is very different from the average "stay at home mom" family, I wouldn't say it's any better or worse. Sometimes it's hard. Sometimes it's harder! ;) I'm excluding any type of full time solo parenting from the previous statement. I know that's a new level of difficulty. I pretty much had to take on that role for 16 months(9 of them, I was a sick, exhausted pregnant momma) several months ago, and I'm glad that season of our marriage is past! And I hope it doesn't come around again!!
There were days I was so desperate for this book to arrive in the mail, that I loaded the boys and carseat up in the wagon and rolled them to the mailbox hoping I'd find it sitting there. I just can't express how grateful to Carla Anne I am for writing it!
I related to a great deal of Married Mom, Solo Parent! There's a few parts that I didn't relate to so much, because they just didn't apply to me or our situation. I don't 100% share the same spiritual beliefs as Carla Anne, but there is so much that I love about this book! I'd say that 3/4ths of the book is just plain old good advice for EVERY mother out there. (I'm completely guessing at that percentage).
When I first started reading Married Mom, Solo Parent, I set it down and thought that it wasn't for me. Since I agreed to review it, though, I did pick it back up. That was the best reading decision I could have made!!! Unless you're a full time mom, in which case you will most likely completely relate to the introduction, I encourage you to keep reading. That introduction chapter might scare you off a bit.
I don't take advice from women who act like marriage is one great big walk through a butterfly garden! They aren't being honest with me! Sometimes I read about these women and I'm tempted to be jealous(this is covered in the book, by the way) and then I remember it's not true. Marriage takes hard work. I really think that marriage is the hardest thing you will ever choose to do! Carla Anne is honest! I appreciate that! At first I was uncomfortable reading about her husband's lack of involvement, but she's not husband bashing and she doesn't approve of it in any kind of way. She's just being honest! I needed for her to be in order for me to relate with her and to be able to take her advice. This book is written with her husband's blessing and he even gets his own chapter at the back. That was really important for me to know while reading. I actually discovered the husband's chapter after reading the first one, and it really helped my outlook in the book.
Carla Anne kept the focus on the wife. She doesn't let you point fingers at your husband or blame him for things going wrong. I was forced to really look at my actions. I'll leave you with one of the many things in this book that really touched me.
"One day he will stand before God and have to give an account of how he raised his children. What will that look like? As you stand beside him that day, will you be cheering at his sorrow? 'Yeah, now you'll get what you deserve!' No. Oh, my friend, my dear, dear solo mom, that will not be your song.That really put things in perspective for me!!!
As you stand before a holy God with your husband at your side, God will ask you what you did to make it possible for your husband to be the incredible dad he was created to be. What did you do to smooth the road for him, to allow your love to cover a multitude of his sins?"
*I was provided a review copy through the Litfuse Publicity Tours in exchange for my completely honest opinion.
About Carla Anne:
Carla Anne Coroy runs the Married Single Mom blog at http://www.carlaanne.com/blog/. She speaks regularly and serves as a staff writer for an online Christian women’s magazine Mentoring Moments for Christian Women. Carla Anne lives in Canada with her husband and four homeschooled children. For more information, visit www.carlaanne.com.
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