Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Becoming Myself by Stasi Eldredge

David C. Cook (August 1, 2013) 256 pages

My Rating: 1/5 stars

My Thoughts:

I was uncomfortable reading this book. It *felt* wrong! There are some things that simply annoyed me, but there were some things that I felt was highly unbiblical. Please use extreme caution if you decide to read this book!

The first part of the book deals with issues our mothers may have caused us to have. The author claims we're not throwing blame around, but that's exactly what it felt like to me. She encourages us to figure out imperfections our mothers had during our childhood. She even wants us to go back as far as our mother's pregnancy with us. Have weight issues? Did your mother smoke? Well, there you go! It's your mother's fault you struggle with your weight! Now *imagine* her asking for your forgiveness. I'm making light of these chapters, but there are people who have had traumatic childhoods, and are suffering greatly for that. I'm *not* making light of that! Psychologists are highly trained in those areas. They study for years and years, and can do amazing things to help those people. As far as could find, this author has no qualifications whatsoever to be playing the role of psychologist, unless you count her time as a *patient*. She does tell in the book that she's had one. It just doesn't sit right with me for her to take on that role and write a book tackling issues such as these with no qualifications. (I say that as nicely as possible!)

It pained me to read what an ugly picture the author painted of her mother, especially since she has already passed on. She does say some nice things about her, so it IS clear that her mother was a good person, but it's mostly pointing out what she did wrong as a mother. She obviously tackled some things in the wrong way, and now everyone reading this book will see that. I simply can't imagine writing such negative things about my momma. It seems so disrespectful to me, especially when thousands, maybe even millions, of readers will now view her mother in such a negative way. My momma wasn't perfect. I'm not perfect. My children won't be perfect. Sure, the things we do as parents HIGHLY affect our children's futures, but at some point the choice becomes ours. I struggle with my weight. I have for more of my life than I haven't. That's not my momma's fault. I just like sugar too much!

There are many times she left me confused as to what she was trying to say.

"Christian curses happen when we pray wanting vengeance, when we pray with a spirit of hatred, judgment, anger, or revenge. Prayers like `Get him, God,' `Teach him a lesson,' `Rebuke him, God' have the same energy as witchcraft. Actually, they are witchcraft, and they hurt people. They damage them spiritually and physically. They damage us as well." (pages 169-170, ARC)

Is she saying God will answer those kinds of prayers for us, or simply throwing our "wishful thinking" into the air will cause the other person harm? Combined with all the other issues I've had with her writing, I was simply uncomfortable with it. It felt wrong, and supernatural like.

The author touches on other supernatural things, and I don't care for that at all.

"I know I'm not the only woman who late at night has thought of the perfect thing to say, days after the conversation. Or who has had a brilliant conversation with someone who isn't there. I have learned something: It is not a good idea to have conversations with people who are not actually in the room. As I mentioned in chapter 8, when we do that, our spirit reaches out to them and builds a bridge to them, and all of their warfare, or anger, or sorrows come traveling across that bridge back to us. Those are ungodly soul ties." (page 188, ARC)

As she says there, she touches on this subject more in Chapter 8. She uses this Bible verse to support her thoughts:

I Samuel 18:1(NKJV)

"Now when he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul."

Needless to say, I feel she's greatly misinterpreting this verse!

The author's version of the "Prayer of Salvation" is at the end of this book. I don't believe the "Prayer of Salvation" is biblical, whatsoever. I know that's not a popular belief, even among friends and family, but I believe, wholeheartedly, that the Bible teaches that baptism is required for salvation.

Mark 16:16(NKJV)
"He who believes and is baptized will be saved; but he who does not believe will be condemned."

Acts 2:38(NKJV)
Then Peter said to them, `Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.'"

Acts 22:16(NKJV)
"And now why are you waiting? Arise and be baptized, and wash away your sins, calling on the name of the Lord."

Matthew 7:21-23(NKJV)
"Not everyone who says to Me, `Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of Heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven."

2 Thessalonians 1:7-9; 1 Peter 3:21

Also, I'll briefly mention that she alludes to a passionate romance with Jesus through the book, and I feel scriptures have been highly misinterpreted seeking this kind of relationship with Jesus!

These issues are only the tip of the iceberg. I was highly uncomfortable with the author's writing and "supernatural-like" beliefs. Since this was a review copy, I kept trying to finish it, but ultimately had enough at just over 3/4th of the way through. I'd rather be filling my mind with God's Word than this. I'd heard only great things about Captivating and Wild at Heart, and excitedly added them both to my shelves. They will be promptly removed now.

*Please know that I realize how unpopular my beliefs are, especially concerning baptism! It's HARD putting myself out there like this, and I don't do it lightly. I'm not trying to do it in a judgmental way! I pray no one shuns me for doing so. ;)


  1. Replies
    1. There are lots of people who *adore* this author! She just wasn't for me, unfortunately.

  2. I'll be skipping this! Thanks for the warning.

    I read Captivating and sometimes I wonder that if I were to re-read it if I would like it quite so much as I did when it first came out. It was impacting then but I speculate that my opinion would change rather. Hmm.

    1. Well, now I'm curious about Captivating. I still think I'll skip it based on this one, but I'm still curious. ;)